


i take off my face (it reminds me of how it all went wrong)

by cosmosea



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-14 21:34:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29302773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmosea/pseuds/cosmosea
Summary: finnick never comes back right away. it takes patience and kindness and all the things he doesn't receive while he's away.
Relationships: Annie Cresta/Finnick Odair
Kudos: 21





	i take off my face (it reminds me of how it all went wrong)

**Author's Note:**

> can the odesta fandom come back from the war...
> 
> TW: as the tags says, there's mentions of sexual abuse here so please be careful! nothing graphic though.

annie was used to waiting for finnick at the train station every time he back. this time around she had no idea when that would be. president snow didn't have anything to say other than the invitation. she had no idea when he would be back, but she still went to the station every day and came back late at night walking through the sand trails to go back home.

the victor's village always felt dead and abandoned without finnick, no one really wandered around or talked. the other victors usually weren't there, or didn't interact at all, especially not with annie. of course they had mags, but mags was an old soul haunting the place with her sharp eyes and intelligence, not to mention her endless kindness, and sometimes she was just to much too handle. she didn't seem broken like the other victors and annie wondered about that. it was unfair to downplay what mags had gone through but it seemed, at least for her, that the years of experience with her own trauma and the capitol had made her immune to a lot of the side effects of the arena.

maybe it was just a facade, good enough to fool of them. like finnick did back in the capitol.

wrapped around his sheets, annie was prepared to sleep another night in his bed - like she did all the days he was away, since he gave her the key - alone, anxious, distressed, yearning.

that was always the worst part. going to sleep alone, imagining finnick in other beds, trying to block images and scenarios from her mind for her sake and his. trying to get to sleep, trying to not have nightmares, trying not to scream, trying to calm herself down so she doesn't need to disturb mags or anyone else.

waking up alone in a big lonesome house that had no warmth to it when finnick wasn't there.

she could feel the cold tears falling down her cheeks, making her shiver and hide her face in the pillow. she hated the feeling, hated the fear of solitude, hated that she felt hurt when finnick was even more so - hated everything about herself in the situation and everything that finnick had to go through. 

she had to go through that. _once_. president snow went against some of the advisors who told him _she's mentally stable, she's not desirable, that won't work out well, please reconsider._ so she was sold to a man once, and she cried so loud that he thought she was hurting or dying. she didn't stop screaming and crying and shivering until she was sedated hours later. she spent days without talking or perceiving her surroundings. snow gave up. 

it made her sick that a part of her wished finnick was damaged like her. then made they would leave him alone. 

she forced her eyes shut, determined to put herself to sleep so she could rest well and go wait for him the next day. she tried to focus, tried to play the game finnick made up for them: _think of a random object and associate it with a good memory_. 

_she thought of the sheets and remembered finnick holding her while they were under it. she thought of a rock and thought about mags throwing them in the water. she thought of a hair brush and thought about her mother brushing her hair. she thought of a train and imagined finnick coming home._

she gave up to sleep in the middle of the game until she jolted awake suddenly. she was a light sleeper ( _which victor wasn't?_ ) and when she heard the sound of the bedroom door sliding she practically jumped from the bed. 

finnick stood there next to the door, not really moving but his chest would rise and fall too fast and his eyes were wide. like he had run there. he wasn't blinking or saying anything, just standing. it would be creepy but it was finnick. her finnick.

annie got closer, not touching him, just aiming to turn the lights on to see if something was wrong.

he held her arm before she could. 

"no. it's okay." his voice felt strained, odd. like he was holding something in his throat. annie just nodded, but they stood there with his hand still holding her arm.

she wanted to see his face and kiss it all over. but she wanted him to feel comfortable and safe even more, so she would just comply.

"do you want to lay down?" she asked, when his hand finally left her arm but grabbed her pulse. like he was trying to steady himself.

they laid down together, a small space between them that felt suffocating for annie. she just wanted to hold him but she knew better than to let her selfishness take place. 

sometimes he just needed her to be present, not close, and she would be anything he needed her to be _(he was always what she needed him to be)._

"annie." he said her name like he was announcing it to the world, like he didn't even notice he had said it. so she waited and didn't respond. 

he took her hand while staring at the ceiling. she squeezed his hand, he squeezed back.

"welcome home, finn." 


End file.
